Long Overdue

First, I want to thank everyone for all their kind words and support.  They meant the world to me.  I don’t know why I seem so averse to updating this blog.  I need to get back to regular blogging.

Yes, things have been busy but I need to make the time…at least for my emotional health.

Taylor is doing very well.  She has some issues, but then she’s always had at least one issue all the time, so it’s nothing big.  She is still her smiley, happy self.

Since her sister got married and moved back to GA…see, it has been awhile.  I’ll have to post pictures.  Taylor & I walked her down the aisle.  She married a wonderful Army MP when he came back from Korea in May.  They had 21 days here before they had to pack up and move to Ft. Stewart, GA.  He’s scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan this coming January.

I promise I’ll go back to writing regularly.  If not, Jaime can bug me. *laughs*  I will leave you with a video of our 4th of July light show.  Yes, The Bossman loves his lights.  Wait until you see video of this coming Christmas.  Visit our Vimeo site if you want to see the rest of the songs.

Summertime Medley - 4th of July Show 2011 from Cascade Christmas Lights on Vimeo.

So Much to Say…

I could say that I haven’t written since November because life has been super busy and that wouldn’t be a lie.  However, if I want to be perfectly honest, I haven’t written because when it comes to Taylor, I just haven’t a lot of good news.

Christmas was hectic because we decided to do this to our house this year.  It was great fun and next year will be even bigger.  Business has been non-stop since August which is the reason we could afford to decorate our house that way.

Taylor had to have another VNS surgery a couple of weeks ago.  At her pre-op appointment, we found out that Taylor only had 1 working vocal chord.  Okay, since we could still hear her sweet voice, it was okay.  The surgeon was worried because of the 2 incisions she had to have, 1 was in her neck and they had to thread new wires in-between her jugular vein and her carotid artery.  Apparently very tricky stuff that required 2 surgeons.

Taylor seemed to come through the surgery better then they thought.  We had planned to spend the night, but they let her come home.  However, her voice is gone.  What you get when she talks is a hoarse whisper.  No more cute Taylor voice.  Her surgeon seems very concerned.

It’s not like Taylor actually talked “real” words but she had a voice.  Now she doesn’t.  I kept trying to tell myself it’s okay because she came through the surgery when they were scared she wouldn’t.  But I think I’m in denial.

I don’t want to only hear this hoarse whisper from now on.  I want her voice back.  We asked if her voice would get better, but it seems the odds are not in our favor.  Furthermore, there could be a breathing issue down the road.

I would probably still not have written here tonight but The Bossman told me I needed to and as usual, he was right.  I can’t keep my head in the sand forever.  I need to just let it go and move on.  At least, right now, she’s home and happy.  That is what’s important…right?

Summer Fun Video

I realize that this post can’t compete with Brandy’s sister post, but I’m hoping that some video of Taylor, Brandy, & the grandkids will at least come close.

I have to thank The Bossman for taking the time to make my video look way better than it actually is…gotta love editing.

Goodbye Nathalie

Can I just say that this month has been a rough one so far and it's only half-way through. Not only have The Bossman and I been dealing with Taylor's declining health, we have had to deal with the declining health of his mother. We've spent the last few backs going back and forth from hospital to care home to hospital...a crazy merry-go-round of emotions.

The Bossman's mother passed away yesterday afternoon and she is finally at peace. Even though I know The Bossman is happy her suffering is over, I know he will be grieving. However, the journey getting her to her final peace has been very emotionally draining for him.

The Bossman's parents have been married for 65 years. They met when his mom was 14 & his dad was 18. That's a lot of time together. Unfortunately, sometimes, it makes it hard to let go when it is time for one to pass on.

While The Bossman and his siblings knew the end was near, his dad was suffering from a huge, but understandable case of denial. This resulted in her last few days being ones that were filled with needless pain. I kind of know how he feels. Am I going to be able to make the right decisions for Taylor when it comes time or am I going to want to hold on to her for my sake and cause her pain?

Those are some serious issues that you don't know how you are going to handle until that time comes. All I could do was to support The Bossman as he tried to support his dad. I am glad that I got to know his mother even though it was only for a short time…4 years.

What's so funny is how she took to Taylor much to everyone's surprise. Not to imply that she was mean or anything, but she was already suffering with Parkinson's when Taylor and I met her and The Bossman said she was a little "grumpy"…but not with Taylor. She's the one that referred to herself as "grandma" when talking to Taylor…again, another surprise.

She was nice to me and I knew that she liked me. That's a big thing considering I was with the baby of the family and usually no female was good enough for him. Sometimes I still think that's true. He's an awesome man from an awesome family and I'm glad that they always make me feel like a part of it. They made Taylor and I feel welcome when we moved 2000 miles away from our family.

As far as making the right decisions for Taylor…I know I don't have to make them alone so that takes away a great deal of the fear. I know The Bossman will always put what is best for Taylor ahead of what my feelings might be and that he will gently guide me to the right path.

Right now I am his support during his loss. One day, he will be mine.

Busy, Busy, Busy

I can't believe it's been 10 days since I've written a blog entry. Things have been hectic, but I hadn't realized just how much until tonight. Yesterday was The Bossman's birthday. My daughter and grandkids came over and we surprised him with a cake and some presents.

This past weekend, The Bossman and I took my grandson Gavin to a train club in Corvallis. It was just a Bossman, Nana, & Gavin trip. He is autistic and it really shows in these videos…watch the hand flapping. However, he was so good and he was so excited that I loved every minute of it. Seeing his excitement is contagious and I have to keep watching. I've put Part 1 of the video here in this blog, but if you want, you should check out parts 2 & 3. It was Gavin's turn to take care of the class bear, so that is why my grandson is holding a bear dressed in pink…her name is Miss Katie Bear. All the kids take turns taking her home and they write and put pictures in a journal for the class. It's a cool idea.

Taylor has had a really good week. Tomorrow she has a neurology and a cardiology appointment and then it's off to get some blood work done while they are flushing her port. I wish I could say that the new medicine is helping her seizures, but I haven't noticed any decrease yet. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

For the past few days, Taylor has been obsessed with rearranging the canned goods in the kitchen cabinet. She spent 3 hours straight, just standing in the kitchen, pulling all the of the food out of the cabinet, putting it on the counter, and then back in the cabinet. She's done this for 4 days in a row. Normally she'll only do it for a minute or two. I've got some video of her doing it. I'll have to get The Bossman to download it for me. For some reason, my computer doesn't let me edit the movies. I guess I need to get the repair guy on it. *laughs*

Business has been extremely busy. I am definitely not complaining as that is what is allowing us to have such a great Christmas and pay all of our bills. November was our busiest month since opening the business in July of 2008 and December shows no signs of slowing down. We got in 5 computers yesterday alone. People let their anti-virus expire and then load the computer with viruses…bad for them, but good for us.

I hope everyone else is having a great month and that all my friends and their families are staying healthy. I'm so far behind in reading everyone's blogs. I promise I'll catch up soon.

I Just Needed…

I've taken a little break from being online when I'm not working. I haven't written a post in awhile. I just needed the break. I needed to spend time reading my new book, "The Lost Symbol"…yes, it's a fabulous read.

I needed time to help the Bossman with his hobby, model trains. We had fun gluing the Styrofoam for the base of the mountain. I needed some time to play with my grandkids and have lunches with my daughter "B". I needed time to sit and snuggle with Taylor and watch her be silly. I needed to lay on her bed and watch her laugh hysterically at some new show she found on Nick Jr called "The Upside Down Show". If it has "slapsticky" type humor, Taylor laughs.

I just needed some time to enjoy the fact that Taylor isn't sick. Seizing? Always…but not sick. I needed some time to do nothing…to engage no one except the Man I love & the rest my family.

I just needed a break.

I will be posting a "Yes I Did" post tomorrow. After that, I'm going to try and introduce everyone to Taylor by catching her on video. I hope all my friends are doing well and I will be catching up on your blogs…I promise.

Thank you Won for checking on me. It meant a great deal more than I can explain.

Sharing More of My Life

It's been awhile since I updated. Things here have been a bit hectic. Thankfully Taylor is doing much better and she has been fever free for almost 24 hours. If she stays fever free that means school tomorrow!!!

Most of my friends know that The Bossman (my BF) and I run a business from our home. He's been doing computer repair in our town for many years, just for another company. We recently celebrated out 1 year in business anniversary this past July. It is a very successful business and I love working with him. I am definitely learning to get my geek on.

Anyway, yesterday was "totally weird customer" day. Most of our customers know The Bossman because he also teaches computer classes at the local community college. However, we do get our share of customers that just walk in off the street. Some of them defy description. They bring in computers that are running Windows operating systems from the early 90s. They get really upset when we tell them that Windows doesn't support Windows 3.1 anymore.

I thought this post should be a little more about my daily life instead of just all the bad news about Taylor. While this blog will still focus on life with Taylor, I just decided to start sharing a little bit more of my day to day life.