Showing posts with label second guessing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label second guessing. Show all posts

Monday, November 9, 2009

Sometimes…& Seizures Suck!



I got my first blog award. Thanks Jennifer. I know that I blog as a way to vent and I do hope that what I write can be of help to others but I will admit that there is also a part of me that likes it when I know people are reading my blog. I like to get comments. While that isn't the sole purpose of blogging, I would be lying if I said I could care less whether anyone comments…I do.


Today has been a rough day here. Taylor has been on the new seizure med Banzel since Thursday night. I know that it hasn't had a chance to build up in her system but I sure hope it will hurry up and help. The school called today and I had to go pick Taylor up. She was seizing too much for them to handle. Taylor had over 40 seizures in 20 minutes. The teacher/aides are very good about writing down every seizure and the time and the poor lady was carrying around a piece of paper trying to keep track.


She came home and has been seizing like crazy. She's had some serious drop seizures. There's a second nature to Taylor. I think she has an aura or something because she'll be standing there and then all of a sudden reach for the wall/chair/person…whatever she can grab to hold on to a second before she would have fallen due to a seizure.


Probably 3 – 4 years ago, I would have packed her off to the ER for IV Ativan to try and slow down her seizure activity. Now, I just don't see the need. Her seizures are uncontrolled…I know that. I just don't want to fill up her time with short acting medicines and needles (even if she does have a port).


Sometimes I feel like I've given up on her. Sometimes I second guess my decisions and wonder if I'm doing what's best for her. I hate those feelings. I feel that I'm making the best decisions I know how to make for Taylor but I guess only time will tell if I've chosen correctly or wisely.


There are no absolutes when it comes to treatment for Taylor. I just know she is much happier throwing her toys into the bathtub than she would be, in the hospital, hooked up to an IV being pumped full of a barbiturate.



The rules state that I get to pass this along to 15 other newly discovered blogs that I love. Should any of you choose to accept this mission…post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the blogger to let them know they have been chosen for this award. I don’t have 15 blogs to pass it on to, but I am going to pick those blogs that I think rock! Please check them out, they are great reads.
1. Blogzilly
2. ConlonClan
3. Model Trains – A Hobby Revisited
4. Lila’s Miracle Life
5. The Bates Motel
6. Rissa Roo & Her Family Too
7. Lia Joy
8. Paisley Place
9. Alabama Slacker Mama
10. Anemone Pie
11. Colton’s Journey