Refusing to be Politically Correct About Disablities

I've been meaning to write this post for awhile now. I just haven't been sure how to approach it. It's going to be very anti-pc. Of course anyone who reads my blog knows about Taylor and that she is profoundly developmentally disabled. That's a pretty long title but it is the politically correct way to describe Taylor. However, we who love her call her something else. No it is not the dreaded "R" word but I will admit that it is a variation of that one. It's one we find endearing to us.

Now, I realize there are going to be a lot of people that might be upset or horrified that I would use this word in talking about my child, but she is my child and I would never call anyone else's child by this name. I'm sure it helps matters for me that Taylor has no clue about the meaning of this word or even the above phrase…profoundly developmentally disabled. I'm just going to go with PDD from now on. Anyway, Taylor knows tone of voice. You could say the vilest curse words to her and if they were said in a sweet loving voice, she'd smile and laugh.

I'm sure you are wondering by now, what word could her family possibly be using that might offend you. Well, just the other day, we told Taylor that she will be the most popular tardy in her class today. I'm sure some of you sent up a collective *gasp* after you read that. Yes, I do use that word with my child. Partly because of the origin, which is too long to share with you on this post, but also to thumb my nose at everyone expecting me to keep up with whatever the most pc word of the year is when it comes to kids/people like Taylor.

Also related to the above issue is that, as The Bossman says, I do know how to play the "gimp card". Now before you really get angry at me, let me explain. The Bossman and I have been together for over 3 years now. 25 years ago, The Bossman was a cop in California. Unfortunately, an off-duty diving accident made him a paraplegic. I've never known him without the chair. Our first travel trip together really opened my eyes to how inaccessible things really are. We booked a "wheelchair accessible" hotel room. Guess what? We got to the room and The Bossman couldn't get his chair through the door. I was told by the front desk that "most chairs" can. I think I stood there with my mouth hanging open. Most chair? Seriously? His chair is less than the ADA required 36''. They were nice enough (insert sarcasm here because they kept telling us how nice they were) to open the room beside it because it had a wider door and let us use both rooms.

Since that trip, I refuse to have to do some sort of awkward shit just to spend the night away with The Bossman. When we went to a casino here on the Oregon Coast…they actually expected me to wheel him down a ramp, in the dark, without railings to keep you from dropping off a short cliff onto the beach, leave him there, walk around, go upstairs, open the main door, go in the room, unlock the back sliding glass door, and let him get in that way. No, I'm not kidding.

When the hotel receptionist told me that, I just looked at her and pulled out the gimp card (The Bossman's term) and played it like a pro. Needless to say, they gave us a suite in the tower with an elevator and a ramp to get in the building.

For those that think that "hey, you got upgraded without having to pay the extra $$", you're damn right. The problem is that I shouldn't have to "play that card". No one should. If you work in a hotel and you get a call from someone who says they are in a wheelchair and CANNOT walk, think about that when assigning rooms. Some think wheelchair means just having trouble walking…not completely unable to walk. We've had some think he could just stand for a second. Yeah…that doesn't really work well with a severed spinal cord.

Look, I don't expect everyone or anyone to understand my use of the word tardy when I talk about Taylor with family members or even when I'm talking to her. But it's my choice, my word, and it's said with more love than you could ever imagine. No, I don't say that word in front of others. Not because I think it's wrong, but because I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or awkward.

This is just my world and I thought I would give you a glimpse of my total un-politically correctness. Feel free to disagree with me in the comments section. I welcome all respectful dialogue.

Now I need to do my "Yes I Did" Friday post.

Continuing Tales of a Bad Knee

I just wanted to jot a quick note to my friends to let you know that I haven't taken time off from the computer…at least voluntarily.

Since my partial knee replacement a few years ago, there have still been some ongoing issues. My surgeon and I are trying what we can to avoid a knee replacement revision as that is a big surgery.

Anyway, over the weekend, somehow I managed to break the blood vessels in that leg and it turned blue and swelled up. It's also very painful right now. Oh the wonders of strong pain meds! So per the doctors and most importantly The Bossman's orders, I'm relegated to sitting on the couch with my leg propped up and iced for at least the next few days.

I just didn't want anyone to think I'm such a mental mess that I needed more mental health days away from the computer. *laughs*

My First Video

Okay, so The Bossman got a new video camera. Today was the first time that I used it. I decided to take some video of Taylor after she got home from school. This is the only one I'm happy with unedited, since I'm still learning that.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy getting a glimpse of Taylor.

Yes I Did Friday!

It's time for "Yes I Did Friday". This is the brainchild of Jeanette, so make sure you head over to her blog and link up.

Yes, I took a 10 day break from the internet, only using it for work and important emails. You could call it a "mental health" holiday.

Yes, I acted like a baby when The Bossman and I had a misunderstanding 2 nights in a row. Yes they were my fault and Yes I'm going to deny they were.

Yes I let my grandkids decide what they want to eat for dinner when I watch them even if it is cheese and crackers. It's a Nana's prerogative.

Yes I wrote "Dawn was here!" as graffiti on the inside of The Bossman's model train layout tunnel just for fun. (Third picture down)

I Just Needed…

I've taken a little break from being online when I'm not working. I haven't written a post in awhile. I just needed the break. I needed to spend time reading my new book, "The Lost Symbol"…yes, it's a fabulous read.

I needed time to help the Bossman with his hobby, model trains. We had fun gluing the Styrofoam for the base of the mountain. I needed some time to play with my grandkids and have lunches with my daughter "B". I needed time to sit and snuggle with Taylor and watch her be silly. I needed to lay on her bed and watch her laugh hysterically at some new show she found on Nick Jr called "The Upside Down Show". If it has "slapsticky" type humor, Taylor laughs.

I just needed some time to enjoy the fact that Taylor isn't sick. Seizing? Always…but not sick. I needed some time to do nothing…to engage no one except the Man I love & the rest my family.

I just needed a break.

I will be posting a "Yes I Did" post tomorrow. After that, I'm going to try and introduce everyone to Taylor by catching her on video. I hope all my friends are doing well and I will be catching up on your blogs…I promise.

Thank you Won for checking on me. It meant a great deal more than I can explain.

The Rest of the Story

Taylor the "Dog Whisperer".

Obviously, I've known about the "Trip to Holland" story that most parents of special needs kids get from someone after their child is diagnosed/born. However, I hadn't realized that there were other parts to it.

A new friend pulled a Paul Harvey on me and sent me "the rest of the story". Thanks Won…you made me cry. Good tears though. There was one part that just seemed to catch my heart.

"So many people think that they are the only one that arrived in Holland against their will, but there are more people than you might think, that have arrived unexpectedly. Too many look, yet only really see their own situation, but if you open your eyes and really see, you will find most everyone has visited some part of Holland at some time in their life. And when they want to find a quiet place of connection, many return here."

I have found that to be so true. There are times when I am so absorbed in what Taylor and I are going through, that I forget there are others that have walked in my shoes to some degree. I have never thought that my situation was worse than anyone else's. I guess I just didn't realize that there are more people who can understand my emotions if I just open my eyes and heart and let them in.

Thank you again Won for sharing that with me. I don't think I could ever find the words to tell you how much it meant.

Yes I Did!

It's time for "Yes I Did Friday". This is the brainchild of Jeanette, so make sure you head over to her blog and link up.

"Yes I Did" ignore my daughter's phone call. I have specific ring tones for my daughters, click here to see how appropriate it is for them. Anyway, when I heard it, even though I knew my daughter was having a particularly rough day, I didn't answer it. I needed 10 minutes of peace. However, mom guilt kicked in and I called her back in 5 minutes. I do love her…honestly I do.

"Yes I Did" tell a customer to take their computer somewhere else to be fixed because he was being obnoxious. My man is a well-known and very trusted as a computer repair guy here in our town. We are so busy right now that I don't need to burden him with annoying customers.

"Yes I Did" listen in to a conversation in the doctor's office (well, you can't help it when you are sitting right next to people and they are talking loud). This family was trying to figure out what a certain drug was. You know I'm "almost a doctor" because of Taylor (inside joke certain people will get), I told them what the medicine was generally used for and then told them to discuss the side effects with the doctor.

What "Yes I Did" moments did you have this week? Join in…you'll have fun.