Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Life At This Moment

Taylor infusion 008

I’ve been gone for quite awhile.  Life just got busy.  Of course, then unexpected things started to happen.

As you can see from the picture, Taylor’s port is accessed.  She just spent 16 days getting daily infusions of IV antibiotics.  We just finished Sunday.  She was being treated for a staph infection of her foot/leg.

Unfortunately, while we noticed some improvement initially, her foot and leg are now right back to being big & swollen. 

Then Taylor’s blood work started coming back abnormal and the “C” word was thrown out.  That’s where we are now.  Running tests for cancer.  Tomorrow morning, we have a bone scan.

Taylor has been very lethargic and clingy lately.  She follows me around the house.  Normally, she always does her own thing, plays her own way.  Now, I have an intense shadow.  You can tell she doesn’t feel well, but it’s frustrating that she can’t tell us what exactly she is feeling.

That’s where I’m at right now.  Trying to start the thought process of whether we go with chemo/radiation option, if the tests confirm what the doctor suspects, or to not put her through those things.

I’d like to not have to think about any of that.  I’d like to be able to wait until we know for sure.  But then the doctor reminds me, depending on the results, we may not have a lot of time to make a decision, so I need to start thinking about it now.

How do you make those decisions?  Why do you have to make those decisions?  At least I can always count on this smiley face to help me make whatever decision needs to be made.

Taylor infusion 002

The “Bossman” told me I needed to update this blog…to get my feelings out.  As usual, he was right. It is cathartic to put things out there in writing, even if I haven’t quite dealt with all the emotions yet.

**After posting this, I happened to look at the pictures, and she definitely looks unwell.  First time I’ve noticed how pale she is right now.**