Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Life At This Moment

Taylor infusion 008

I’ve been gone for quite awhile.  Life just got busy.  Of course, then unexpected things started to happen.

As you can see from the picture, Taylor’s port is accessed.  She just spent 16 days getting daily infusions of IV antibiotics.  We just finished Sunday.  She was being treated for a staph infection of her foot/leg.

Unfortunately, while we noticed some improvement initially, her foot and leg are now right back to being big & swollen. 

Then Taylor’s blood work started coming back abnormal and the “C” word was thrown out.  That’s where we are now.  Running tests for cancer.  Tomorrow morning, we have a bone scan.

Taylor has been very lethargic and clingy lately.  She follows me around the house.  Normally, she always does her own thing, plays her own way.  Now, I have an intense shadow.  You can tell she doesn’t feel well, but it’s frustrating that she can’t tell us what exactly she is feeling.

That’s where I’m at right now.  Trying to start the thought process of whether we go with chemo/radiation option, if the tests confirm what the doctor suspects, or to not put her through those things.

I’d like to not have to think about any of that.  I’d like to be able to wait until we know for sure.  But then the doctor reminds me, depending on the results, we may not have a lot of time to make a decision, so I need to start thinking about it now.

How do you make those decisions?  Why do you have to make those decisions?  At least I can always count on this smiley face to help me make whatever decision needs to be made.

Taylor infusion 002

The “Bossman” told me I needed to update this blog…to get my feelings out.  As usual, he was right. It is cathartic to put things out there in writing, even if I haven’t quite dealt with all the emotions yet.

**After posting this, I happened to look at the pictures, and she definitely looks unwell.  First time I’ve noticed how pale she is right now.**


Becca said...

Oh, Dawn, I don't know what to say, other than I'm really, really hoping for easily-remedied answers for Taylor. We've missed both of you in the blogosphere, and while I'm glad you're back, I was hoping it would be to say that you've had absolutely nothing interesting going on in your lives. But I know better.

Sending the most positive, healing thoughts I can for Taylor...


Robyn said...

I'm not usually a commenter but as a fellow special needs mom I always am encouraged by your real mom outlook on raising an awesome kid such as Taylor (and my Seth). I'm praying for your family, that whatever you have to face next is filled with peace and support in your world. Sending much love!!

Jamie said...

say what? huh? I am at loss for words...lots of good thoughts sent your way. Everything will be Ok!!Big hugs for T.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

It's been a long time since the update. Please update again!! You have worried followers.

tumbleweedgirl said...

i'm sorry i've not been keeping up lately. i forgot the link, which was silly of me, but i've thought of Tay often. my heart is heavy for you, and i can only hope you don't need to make the decisions you are thinking about right now.

hugs and all the best thoughts and prayers in the world

Colton's Journey said...

Hugs and prayers for strength and wisdom!