Developing a Thick Skin

I've had this topic on my mind for a few days but I wasn't quite sure how to word it. I was reading a comment on a forum written by a mom whose daughter had a birthmark on her face. She was upset that someone had thought to use that situation as an example of a distraction in a school setting. I'm not going to address that particular situation, just what it made me think about.

I'm sure that what I'm going to write about isn't considered politically correct and it may even upset other mothers of special needs kids. However, it's just something I feel led to write. Taylor doesn't look "normal" and she never has. Even when she was little you could always tell there was something different about her. As Taylor was growing up, we dealt with stares and rude comments and I will admit that my feelings would be hurt a lot. I would get angry and lash out at the insensitive or unfeeling person. Of course, it never made me feel any better but I always thought I needed to be outraged on Taylor's behalf because she didn't know enough to "feel the slight". So I felt it for her.

As the years have gone by, I realize that my desire to strike back at rude people has waned. I have read the blogs of some parents with disabled children in wheelchairs who watch for people that park in the handicapped parking spots. Even if these people have placards, this mother will say something if the person doesn't appear to be visibly disabled. I have a placard for Taylor. Is she in a wheelchair? No. So by that mother's standards, I shouldn't park there. To her, my daughter having seizures every few minutes in a parking lot shouldn't mean that we get to park closer. Are there people who park in handicapped spots illegally? Of course…but to demand everyone "look" disabled is ridiculous and shows that ignorance can be found anywhere.

I guess my point for writing this is that after 20 years, I've developed a thick skin. Maybe if my daughter could have hurt feelings or understood things, I would think differently. But she can't. So why should I waste one second on a negative emotion when I can just focus on the silly, happy, child that Taylor is. There are always going to be ignorant and rude people. Don't get me wrong. If someone is just downright ugly about Taylor right to my face, then yes, I will say something, but i've learned to let the negativity roll off my back.

I hope that I've worded this post in a way that people understand what I mean. Taylor doesn't need me to be outraged on her behalf. She doesn't give a rat's ass…so neither do I.