Saturday, January 16, 2010

Goodbye Nathalie


Can I just say that this month has been a rough one so far and it's only half-way through. Not only have The Bossman and I been dealing with Taylor's declining health, we have had to deal with the declining health of his mother. We've spent the last few backs going back and forth from hospital to care home to hospital...a crazy merry-go-round of emotions.

The Bossman's mother passed away yesterday afternoon and she is finally at peace. Even though I know The Bossman is happy her suffering is over, I know he will be grieving. However, the journey getting her to her final peace has been very emotionally draining for him.

The Bossman's parents have been married for 65 years. They met when his mom was 14 & his dad was 18. That's a lot of time together. Unfortunately, sometimes, it makes it hard to let go when it is time for one to pass on.

While The Bossman and his siblings knew the end was near, his dad was suffering from a huge, but understandable case of denial. This resulted in her last few days being ones that were filled with needless pain. I kind of know how he feels. Am I going to be able to make the right decisions for Taylor when it comes time or am I going to want to hold on to her for my sake and cause her pain?

Those are some serious issues that you don't know how you are going to handle until that time comes. All I could do was to support The Bossman as he tried to support his dad. I am glad that I got to know his mother even though it was only for a short time…4 years.

What's so funny is how she took to Taylor much to everyone's surprise. Not to imply that she was mean or anything, but she was already suffering with Parkinson's when Taylor and I met her and The Bossman said she was a little "grumpy"…but not with Taylor. She's the one that referred to herself as "grandma" when talking to Taylor…again, another surprise.

She was nice to me and I knew that she liked me. That's a big thing considering I was with the baby of the family and usually no female was good enough for him. Sometimes I still think that's true. He's an awesome man from an awesome family and I'm glad that they always make me feel like a part of it. They made Taylor and I feel welcome when we moved 2000 miles away from our family.

As far as making the right decisions for Taylor…I know I don't have to make them alone so that takes away a great deal of the fear. I know The Bossman will always put what is best for Taylor ahead of what my feelings might be and that he will gently guide me to the right path.

Right now I am his support during his loss. One day, he will be mine.


13 comments:

Alicia said...

Oh Dawn, I am so sorry. I am sending my prayers your way for this loss.

Kristin said...

Dawn -

I am sorry for your loss. I am even more sorry that these other feelings have come about and you have to think about that with Taylor. I am sure your husband appreciates your support.

Be strong! {{{HUGS}}}

Kristin

Gayle said...

Dawn,

Just stopping in from SIP to say you are in my thoughts, and wish you and your family find solace in each other during this time.

Hugs,
Gayle

Shannon said...

Dawn and Bossman I am so sorry for the passing of your mother. I truly understand the first hand difficulty of seeing a loved one deal with Parkinsons so I get what you are sayiing of the relief in her passing from the pain as well.

I really hope that you guys get to have a break here soon so that you can put the stressful things behind you for a little while and focus on Taylor in a great and happy way.

You are never far from my thoughts.

Anemone Pie said...

Oh, Dawn, my deepest sympathy goes out to the Bossman, his dad, you and Taylor...just everyone who kne and loved her. Thank you for sharing Miss Nathalie with the rest of us here. I'm so very sorry.

Ann said...

I'm so sorry for your family to have suffered the loss of a dear grandmother and mother. Very hard, and something we're never really ready for, I suppose.
So glad to see the connection was there, between her and Taylor, really nice to be able to have that.

HappilyFlawed said...

Thinking of you and Yours!

CK said...

Dawn, Bossman & Taylor,
I am so sorry to hear of Nathalie's death. It sounds like she had a special connection with Taylor. And that she was kind to you, Dawn.

Treasure her in your hearts.

heather said...

i'm so sorry. lots of love to you and your family.

won said...

My sincere condolences. Those words sound so trite, but they're all I can offer.

I am sorry, and hoping for gentler days ahead.....somehow.

Becca said...

Dawn, I'm so sorry to hear about this. My thoughts are with all of you.

Kathy said...

It's always hard to say goodbye even if the loved one is at peace. I lost my mom almost 6 months ago. At first I was relieved for her - then I began missing her more and more...sigh.

Peace to you and Bossman, and family.

I liked reading about the special connection Nathalie had with Taylor. Very cool memory.

barefootRhys said...

dawn

you guys are in our prayers.

i am so sorry.