Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Hair Washing Hell

Family & computer 014

I wonder how many mothers of special needs kids have the same problem I’ve had since Taylor was a baby.  She hates having her hair washed.  It was worse when she was a toddler.  She screamed so loud while I was washing her hair, the neighbors called the police for a “well-being check”.  I mean seriously?  She hated it that bad?  Oh she loved and still loves taking a bath, but get out the shampoo and she’s no longer a happy camper.

Fast forward a number of years and I’m a single mom working in the children’s shoe department at Nordstrom.  I work long hours.  By this time, my oldest daughter Courtney lives down the road and is expecting my first grandchild.  She watches Taylor for me.  Does Taylor cry when Court washes her hair?  Hell no!  I would do the exact same thing Court would do, and Taylor would still throw a fit.

Fast forward to now.  Taylor is 20 years old and still cries when I wash her hair.  Now granted, she did have brain surgery and does have a scar across her head from ear to ear, but I don’t think it bothers her much.  When she goes to my other daughter Brandy’s house, she even let Brandy blow dry it and use a flat iron on it.  Do you think she would let me even plug in a flat iron in her presence?  I don’t think so. 

The school would send home notes some days that Taylor’s hair was so cute.  I would have to send a note back saying if Taylor’s hair is cute, I didn’t do it, her sister did.

This has to be a “mom” thing.  You know, kind of like when your kids are so good at other people’s house and you wonder why they are monsters at home.  She must sense the fact that I’m mom and she’s supposed to cry if I wash her hair.  She grew up tactilely defensive but after several years of therapy when she was  young, that seemed to go away…except with her head.

Yeah, I know…kind of a silly post but I’m just wondering if anyone else has a similar situation.  On a good note, we got a really great swing for our deck on sale at Wal-Mart and boy does Taylor love it.  She’s been going out there everyday with her music and her magazines and just chilling.  I think that was the best spent money ever.


Sharon said...

Kayleigh is only 2 but has had the same problems since birth. She loves, loves, LOVES her bath but let me get out the shampoo and the tears begin.

Creating the best of Me said...

ok,mom I laughed the entire time I read that and plan on reading it again in a min. Sorry the way you wrote that was just to funny. I totally forgot she does that with you, b/c no she doesn't mind at all when I do it, and yes I can blow dry it, flat iron and put it some cute style and the only thing she does is make a face if I use the rubber bands...but no fit, tears, nothing she even laughs.
Ok sorry had to rub it in a bit I like that she lets me do that makes me feel good to premp her! You have to remind me that I need to wash it when she is here so that i make sure I do, b/c I really did forget she did that to you. REMIND ME

Dawn said...

You bet I will remind you. She went a week without getting her hair washed because I kept thinking when she came home from your house, it would be washed.

I know you had to rub it in. I'm glad you think it's funny how she does that to me. I wrote this last night, right after I washed her hair. Did I blowdry it? Hell no! She's lucky I got it combed. She went to bed with wet hair. It's good that her hair is so fine and soft.

JEllen said...

I'm right there with you except Sarah doesn't have a sister to step in. How great though for you. Actually Sarah goes thru spells. Right now we are in the "I hate having my hair washed" phase again. I just let her scream - helps to clear out her lungs:) I did threaten to cut it short if she doesn't start cooperating.

Kathy said...

Love the swing! It seems the perfect thing for Taylor to enjoy with her mags and music.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

My Peanut hates HATES having her hair washed! She will scream bloody murder, throw her body around, and if I don't stop she will hold her breath until she passes out. That makes for a very stressful Mom!

I gave up. I don't know if you've seen pictures of my Peanut, but she has a LOT of hair! I buy the Rinse Free waterless shampoo and conditioner. She gets a bath in the tub, and then I wash/condition her hair in her bed. Once a month I use the RinseFree shampoo shower caps, for a really good rubbing/cleaning.

Have you tried any of these things? They may help! I know she is a lot bigger than my Peanut and more mobile, so harder to manage. My daughter throws a fit when I brush her hair in the morning. It's funny, I literally pin her down and sit with her in my lap, my legs on her legs. She can't move! She yells the entire time. I constantly tell her that beauty isn't easy! ;)

cleo said...

She does look so relaxed on the new swing! Good choice. I think you have something there on the theory about how they save their difficult behaviors for Mom. She used to let Sunnie and I comb her hair at school, too. She held her head so still... giggled... After swimming, she shampooed it herself at the showers. I think it helped that we had 4-5 girls plus ourselves in there, all lathering up and having a good time...She liked being part of the gang. Geez, I miss that girl! --Linda

Becca said...

Too funny! Samantha hates having her hair washed, too, and some days are worse than others. I only do it once a week so I don't have to torture her too often. And like Taylor, regular baths are just fine.

I keep telling her to look up and put her head back so she won't get water in her face, but she always flat-out refuses. Then she takes her Tigger bath doll and washes his "hair," carefully tipping his head back and telling him "look up, Tigger, wash hair, (no) water in face." LOL