Thursday, September 10, 2009

One More Thing

Today was Taylor's pre-op appointment this afternoon. Of course, because it's Taylor, nothing can ever go smoothly. The doctor was feeling her neck when he looked at me and asked "what's this".

Well, I started looking and I noticed something I've never seen before…she has a lump near where her esophagus is. The doctor thought maybe it has something to do with her thyroid. Then he thought that maybe it was just her esophagus that was "moving around". He finally decided that this is something that is going to require an ultrasound.

You know, I pay really close attention to Taylor and I'm always looking for things that have changed or could be wrong because she cannot communicate those things to me. I just didn't notice the large lump on her neck. I guess it's a good thing that one of the surgeons is an ENT specialist. He said he'll order an ultrasound and we will see what's going on.

I just don't think I can handle "one more thing". I know that sounds bad because technically, I'm not the one that has to deal with it. Taylor does. She's the one that is going to have the pain from surgery on Monday. She is the one that has to undergo test after test…procedure after procedure.

I guess I'll do what I always do…stay strong and do whatever I can to make Taylor comfortable and happy…you know, the MOM thing.


A little bit about me .... said...

Oh Dawn, I so hear you I am only 8 years into "one more thing" & surgery after surgery. There are days that I feel I can't go on ... & then I shake my head & remember, like you, that it's not me having the pain from surgery... but, in a way, we feel the pain too.

You will stay strong, remember to be gentle with yourself. There will be days when you are mad, or sad, or extremely exhausted but you will return to be positive, be hopeful, be Taylor's Mom. There are other Mom's out here who understand the "struggle".