Waiting

Today was Taylor's echocardiogram and I will admit to wanting to know how her valve looks. However, I couldn't really tell you why I thought I would find something out today. The Bossman would just laugh and say something sarcastic about my brain…or lack thereof.

Anyway, the technicians never tell you anything. I think they take a class specifically on how to not change their demeanor no matter what they see. I now have to wait 10 days until Taylor sees her cardiologist on the 30^th.

I think I'm just a little anxious because there are some changes going on with Taylor that no one can seem to come up with a reason for. She has some discolorations of her fingers and toes but Taylor doesn't have great circulation to begin with so it could be totally unrelated to her heart. Her left foot has been swollen for over a year and no one can figure out why. At first they thought gout. Gout? In an 18 year old…obviously that wasn't it. They've take x-rays and now the swelling is moving up past her ankle. She takes her shoes off the minute she gets home. I've been lucky enough to have a couple of pair of low-top converse for her…they seem to stretch.

I have no clue if all these other symptoms going on have anything to do with her heart. I honestly hope they aren't. Of course, that means starting from scratch to see what else is going on. Part of me wonders if it even matters anymore. If it's a matter of life and death, absolutely I'll make the decisions that need to be made. I just don't want to put her through things that won't help.

Taylor is a very happy, affectionate, loving, "little girl". I want her to spend her time doing those things that she enjoys…that's what gives Taylor her good quality of life.

So now the 10 wait commences. Thanks to all my friends for their good thoughts today.