Friday, November 13, 2009

Yes I Did…Just Have a Pity Party

It's time for "Yes I Did Friday". This is the brainchild of Jeanette, so make sure you head over to her blog and link up.

Yes it is 2am on Friday morning and I'm sitting up because I'm scared to go to sleep. Taylor's fever is 103.5 right now and she is very "out of it". I know she is the one that is sick. She is the one that has to deal with feeling bad, but right now, I'm just very tired.

Yes I am having a moment of feeling sorry for myself. At least that's what I think I'm feeling. Right now, at this very moment, I wish I had a "normal" child. I wish I had a child who could tell me exactly how she is feeling. I wish I had a child that didn't have seizures. I wish I could trade the worries I have right now with the worries of…is she passing her college classes, do I like the boy she is dating, is she practicing safe sex.

My "Yes I Did Friday" post is just one big old poor me post and I apologize ahead of time to everyone. Maybe it's the lateness of the hour, or earliness depending on your perspective. Maybe it's that I'm tired and I just wanted to sleep in my own bed and not the lumpy couch that always sucks my butt in between the 2 cushions, forcing me into a V shape.

Yes I Did force you, my fellow readers to participate in my surprise pity party. Awww…screw it. I'm done already. I've given Taylor some medicine and I'm going to go do some mindless infomercial surfing, unless I get lucky and find an interesting show to watch in the middle of the Snuggie and Obama Chia Pet commercials.

Thank you for letting me vent and get it all out of my system. I promise I only have moments of self pity and I try to make them few and far between.

I think I need an AP & Nikki B intervention! They make me laugh.



I'm sorry. I hope things get bette soon!

Tina said...


So sorry things are awful right are such a strong person and I admire you so much.

Hope Taylor gets to feeling better soon...


My Life Is This said...

Dawn - sometimes it's okay to be the guest of honor at the pity party. When the party's over, our stronger selves emerge. Hope you and Taylor are better soon.

Becca said...

Dawn, you can feel HOWEVER you want to, and you are more than justified in how you feel. I'm so sorry Taylor's sick. I'll be thinking about you guys, hoping for the best. I hope you were able to get some sleep eventually.

barefootRhys said...


that wasn't much of a pity party! where were the treats and toy hats? (=

seriously, it wasn't that whiny. it's good to acknowledge loss, and i believe that you never stop grieving some things.

i hope you rest well and that taylor starts feeling better.

Anemone Pie said...

Well, it's about time you got some of that out. ;-) Honestly, Dawn, anyone would have feelings like this and I think it's perfectly normal. None of it is what you wanted...not for her and not for you, either. Most of the time it's all about Taylor but it's really okay to throw yourself a good pity party once in awhile and have it be about you. Next time, though, warn us it's a party so we can bring drugs.

justjaime31 said...

Next time i will bring some beers, and we can all sit around and feel sorry for ourselves!!! lol

You do a great job with her, and its ok to have big ol pity parties sometimes!!

FalkFamily said...

I'm so sorry Dawn. I hope she is feeling better, and I hope you were able to get some rest.

Jennifer said...

Yes you do have every right to feel that way.

Yes I do understand exactly what you mean wishing for a normal child. Even if only for one night.

I'm sorry you had a lousy night. I hope Taylor is feeling better today, and that you managed to get some sleep last night.

won said...

Hi Dawn,

Thanks for hosting the pity party and allowing us all to come along. Sometimes they can be cleansing.

I think I can speak for many of us and say that we are here any time you want to "party" with us.

Thoughts for you and Taylor.

I hope the weekend is gentle for you both.

Trudy said...

Hugs, Trudy

Anonymous said...

I understand your feelings and it's OK to have them. I'd be surprised if from time to time you didn't feel this way.

My son Stevie as you know has aspergers and I too wish it were differant, mostly because I don't think he could ever live on his own and if anything happend to his dad, grandmother and the boss and I he would totally be screed. So I understand wishing things were differant.

You are a terrific mom and Taylor is so blessed to have you and her Dad to love on her and take care of her.

I pray that she will once again be well and the closest thing to God's love on earth that ther is.


Jeanette said...

Oh Dawn, you have every right to feel that way. I think every mother with a special needs child wishes things could be different. The important thing is to make the best of what you have, and just from reading your blog and seeing how you talk about Taylor, I know that you make the best of everything. You are a great mother, don't ever doubt that.

Anonymous said...

We all have pity parties at one time or another.

The difference between those who are well adjusted and those who are a bit self centered, is how long the pity party lasts.

I know you, and your parties are short, and the favors are pretty sucky.

I understand what you are going through and there is nothing wrong with it.

You have learned to deal with this over the years and understand that even by blogging/journaling, you help yourself (not to mention others!)

I love you,

Erin Lutz said...

Dawn, I am so sorry Taylor is sick again. I wish I could give you a door to kick, or a hairbrush to throw (my favorite venting methods!) but I think you are doing just fine. *hugs to you* and Taylor too.